In recent years we have seen children committing cold, calculated and heinous
crimes. We ask the question, why? Depending on who you ask, you'll get
answers ranging from the violence on TV and in the movies, to the influence
of the Internet. What it all comes down to is the deterioration of the family
unit. Between the lack of a two parent family, and parents who are more
concerned with their own professional or private lives rather than the
welfare of their children, the problem is staring them in the face and they
are looking right through it.
I remember the Columbine tragedy and the debates which followed. Something
that struck me as questionable was it had been stated one of the boys came
from a good home. The media mentioned that his parents were supposedly
happily married and were both employed as teachers, held in high regard by
the community.
Let's analyze this thought process. This child came from an intact family,
but a family where both the mother and the father were working outside the
home. I'm not trying to infer this made them bad parents, but we can safely
assume that these parents could not devote their full attention to the growth
of their child since they were not there to attend to their sons needs. This
is the pivotal argument of Feminist and other groups, they insist that dual
income families are no detriment to the children in general.
During the Super Bowl, a commercial aired for a credit card company in which
a mother was kneeling down telling her son that she had to leave on a
business trip. He had a pathetic lost look on his face while his mother kept
offering to give him anything that he wanted for his birthday. The next scene
shows him seated on an airplane enroute to the business meeting with her. The
little boy turns to her and says, "Does this mean that I don't get the bike?"
My first reaction admittedly was a small grin, until I realized what this boy
truly wanted was the opportunity to just spend some time with his mother. Of
course this was just a dramatization, but I'm sure its an all too common
scenario. I no longer smile when I see this commercial, I sympathize with all
of the other children who feel the same way.
Unfortunately due to extreme taxation and the welfare system which encourages
illegitimacy, we have an overwhelming amount of children who are deprived of
a two
parent family or that have a makeshift arrangement in order to beat the tax
system.
A small sample of what is happening came to me out of the Chicago Sun Times.
The paper has an area in the Classified section for birth announcements. Out
of 125 birth announcements, 51 were by single mothers or unmarried couples.
There were another 15 that just listed the first names of the parents, which
left no clue whether they were married or not. The rest had the husband and
wife's whole name listed. This is a sign of the times when illegitimacy is a
common and accepted occurrence in today's society. I can remember 10 years
ago, this was frowned upon as a social disgrace and newspapers only printed
the names of married couples.
In 1992, Vice president Dan Quayle made a comment regarding a popular TV
character Murphy Brown being a single woman who was pregnant and not sure
which man was the father. He made the argument that television is influential
in many ways and this show was sending a negative message to the public at
large. People like Gloria Steinem and Patricia Ireland leaped at the chance
to turn this into a political issue rather than a sociological concern. As
time went by, Quayle was redeemed in his comments because they actually were
based in a truthful concern which turned out to be prophetic. Even former
feminists realize the stigma that can be attached to a single mother and the
detriment to the children of not having both a mother and a father.
Personally, I am a simple man with what I hope is a good value system
instilled by my parents. My wife is an exceptional woman who is involved in
all facets of the raising of our children. She is one of the few room mothers
who bother to aid on school field trips and activities. We are of the
minority of parents who attend Open House days and parent teacher
conferences. We are also two of a group of eight parents who volunteered to
set up our daughters 8th grade graduation dance. This is eight parents out of
a graduation class of 281 kids. The only input that we seem to get from those
who didn't feel the need to volunteer is criticism.
This is in contrast to my years in school when the hallways were packed with
parents, eager to speak with teachers to check our progress and behavior. It
seems that either values have changed or my generation has prioritized
material items and devalued their children. As in the commercial described
earlier, its easier to buy your children off than to invest your time.
As we are seeing now, the lack of investment is highlighted in the dividend
of the
children's attitudes.